According to Forbes, communications expert Amira Barger presents a compelling case against workplace “niceness” in her new book, The Price of Nice, arguing that this cultural expectation actually functions as a “social sedative” that numbs necessary conversations about bias and inequity. Barger explains how niceness manifests in organizations through performance reviews that avoid naming bias, leaders who claim to value all voices but only reward familiar ones, and women and people of color being labeled “not a culture fit” when they refuse to shrink themselves. Communications executive Courtney Laydon adds that niceness often serves as a tool to determine who gets a voice at the table, while DEI VP La Vida A. Johnson notes it forces marginalized groups to suppress discomfort to protect their livelihoods. Barger’s analysis reveals how this dynamic creates “sacred cows” that kill innovation and belonging.
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The Hidden Business Costs of Comfort
What’s often missing from discussions about workplace culture is the tangible business impact of prioritizing comfort over candor. When organizations reward niceness, they’re essentially investing in silence—and that silence comes with measurable costs. Innovation requires friction, disagreement, and the willingness to challenge established norms. Companies that prioritize harmony over honest dialogue often find themselves falling behind competitors who embrace constructive conflict. The pursuit of harmony becomes counterproductive when it means avoiding difficult conversations about process improvements, product flaws, or market misalignments.
The Power Dynamics Beneath the Surface
The insistence on niceness isn’t neutral—it’s a sophisticated mechanism for maintaining existing power structures. When employees from marginalized backgrounds are told to be “more professional” or “better team players,” what they’re often hearing is a demand to conform to dominant cultural norms. This creates what organizational psychologists call “emotional taxation”—the extra cognitive and emotional labor required to navigate spaces not designed for your success. The expectation to manage others’ comfort becomes an invisible tax on productivity and mental health, disproportionately affecting those already facing systemic barriers.
Beyond Niceness: Building Authentic Cultures
Moving beyond niceness doesn’t mean embracing hostility or disrespect. The alternative is what leadership experts call “radical candor”—caring personally while challenging directly. Organizations serious about equity need to distinguish between kindness and niceness. Kindness addresses real needs and builds genuine connection, while niceness often avoids necessary discomfort. Companies can implement structured disagreement protocols, create anonymous feedback channels, and train managers to recognize when they’re prioritizing their own comfort over organizational growth. As Barger’s work suggests, the goal isn’t to eliminate civility but to expand what’s considered acceptable discourse.
Measuring What Matters in Inclusion
Traditional diversity metrics often miss the subtle ways niceness undermines inclusion. Organizations should track not just representation but psychological safety scores, rates of constructive conflict, and whether dissenting opinions actually influence decisions. The true test of an inclusive culture isn’t whether everyone feels comfortable, but whether everyone feels safe to express discomfort. This requires rethinking performance management systems to reward courage rather than compliance, and creating promotion criteria that value boundary-setting as much as team harmony.
The Future of Workplace Communication
As remote and hybrid work become permanent fixtures, the dynamics of niceness are evolving in complex ways. Digital communication platforms can either reinforce niceness norms through carefully crafted messages or disrupt them through more direct, text-based exchanges. Organizations that succeed in the coming decade will be those that intentionally design communication cultures rather than defaulting to inherited norms. This means creating explicit agreements about feedback, conflict, and accountability that serve both business equity and human dignity.
